Checklist for perfect motherhood

√ Spotless home

√ Children adhere to sleep times

√ Always on time for school and events

√ Children always “well-mannered”

√ Hearty home-cooked meals daily

√ Ever present during playtime

√ Remembering all your child’s friend’s names and stories shared with you

√ Strong and can handle hard issues without getting emotional

√ Balanced work-life

Want to add to the list? Please do. On second thoughts, don’t!

Society has stamped motherhood with a “jack of all trades and master of it all” badge. Masters are all knowing. They make no mistakes. Their processes are well-oiled and they can handle any crises that comes their way with ease. They are the epitome of perfection. They were born and made for their role, right?

The truth is, before women are Mom’s, they are human. And the nature of being human comes with being flawed. But for some reason, when you are a mother, society adorns you with perfect expectations which couldn’t be further from reality. When you don’t quite make the standard, you are adorned with labels damning to your character and abilities.

“Mom knows best” is what we grew up hearing and still hear to this day. Whilst this may be true on occasion when our God-given motherly instincts kick in, other times we simply don’t know. Because of this narrative and the expectation of an all-knowing mom, we struggle to seek help when we need it. We struggle to own up to the mistakes we made “in the line of duty”. We struggle to acknowledge so many things because the weight of judgements passed on Mothers is a heavy one to bear.

In her book, “No more perfect Moms”, Jill Savage starts off the book with a story of a time she’d forgotten to collect one of her children from school. She went through mom-guilt because of what she knew was expected of her in her role as Mom.