December blues got you already? If you are still grinding at work like me, it can sometimes feel like you are missing out on something more exciting out there. Maybe you didn’t plan in advance for what you’d like to do during the holidays or you’ve planned but things aren’t working out quite as you had hoped. Now you are clutching at straws and FOMO (Fear of Missing Out) has you bad.
Breathe and use this time to experience JOMO. The Joy of Missing Out.
I know that you are probably thinking, “What joy is it to miss out on anything that looks exciting?” Well, let me remind you that looks can be deceiving at times.
In looking up the definition of joy, you will see that it is synonymous with cheer, happiness, bliss, satisfaction, and pleasure. It is the opposite of misery, despair, trial and tribulation.
So let’s look at FOMO vs JOMO. Which of the two defines what and how you want to experience?
Of course it’s JOMO! I don’t know anyone who would willingly sign up to experience what FOMO brings to the table. FOMO is characterised by fear. FOMO also has its roots in comparison. In my observations, FOMO has made it such that we aren’t happy with how our life is currently set up. We compare ourselves, our progress in life, the clothes we wear, the neighbourhoods we stay in, the schools our kids go to, etc.
Comparison stems from feelings of inadequacy which come from the need to belong. The desire for belonging is part of being human, however this should not negatively impact or hamper with your wellbeing.
I guess they call it the “silly season” because many activities prompted by FOMO happen during this period. The other day whilst out shopping, as we reached the till, Bontle and I were chatting about using money wisely and the cashier couldn’t help but join in with a question so good. She said “why is it that we spend so much during this period?” I thought for a moment and commented that it’s because of the #kedezemberboss pressure.
We buy things we don’t need, to impress people who aren’t invested in what we do.
A lot of people ride on this wave due to FOMO and the infamous, #YOLO (You Only Live Once) tagline. Now, I’m not saying you shouldn’t go out there and enjoy life. I mean, in my last blog I was advocating for spontaneity.
My point is, we need to get to a point where JOMO takes precedence over FOMO. JOMO is about acceptance and a deep embrace of the season of life we are in without any judgements or comparative motions. In my experience, JOMO can look anything like, saying no to attending an event because you know your budget does not allow. Going on holiday during off-peak times so your shillings can stretch a bit further. Saying no to participate in activities you have no capacity for.
The Joy of Missing Out (JOMO) releases you from the pangs of pressure surrounding you all around. It allows you to tap into your true self. It creates space for self-acceptance and opportunities for self- compassion. JOMO opens the doorway toward a more grateful and content heart, ultimately, a peaceful life.
When you are gratified about who you are, where you are, what you are about, and the decisions you’ve made, there is no space for unnecesary strife or friction in your emotions. The opposite only brings regret, guilt and shame, synonymous with FOMO.
Which wave are you riding on, in this silly season? Is it JOMO or FOMO?