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Pause. Live.

Reflections from a recent spontaneous trip


Is it just me who feels like the days and months have just been moving at the fastest speed ever?


Am I alone feeling the pinch of year-end fatigue?

Are you also experiencing year end fatigue?

  • 0%Girl! It got me good 😩😩

  • 0%Nah. What’s that? 💁🏽‍♀️


By the way, we have five more Sundays to go before the new year! 

Anyway, just when you think you are catching your breath, then something on the to-do list knocks you off your comfort seat. Annoying at times but what can we do? The way life is currently setup, we are constantly chasing one thing after another – to survive.


We take moments of solitude and rest with an inkling of guilt circling around, that little pesty voice that says things like: “you have so much on your list but you be chilling! Girl, what’s up with that?”  


If we aren’t feeling guilty about resting whilst others are grinding day and night to make a decent living in this crippling economy, we feel guilty about spending money on ourselves. This is something I’ve battled with for a very long time and to this day, it remains a thorn in my precious life.


As someone who is working towards thriving and not merely surviving, when this year started, I committed to being mindful of how I can live a little, be present and do more bold and courageous things – ingredients I believe capture the essence of LIVING (side note: I am tired of being a walking corpse). So when a friend of mine invited hubby and I to a group vacation to the magnificent Knysna, I could not contain my excitement – due to unforeseen circumstances one of the couples had pulled out at the last minute. Despite the thorn I mentioned earlier trying to interject and ruin the moment for me, my excitement bellowed from within.  

True to my “life is for living” era, I briefed my husband and we both agreed to re-join the trip. Those who know me know that spontaneity is not something I have practiced, blame it on childhood trauma. But this very spontaneity that has been missing from my life is just what I’ve needed to live my life more bountifully.


Isn’t it funny how the one thing you keep avoiding to do is the one you need to get you out of the piled-up rubble in your life?


The trip was nothing short of amazing - an experience I would’ve regretted not participating in. see some snippets in the slideshow below



Here are some things I take with me:

  • Give yourself permission. The realisation that nobody but ME can give me permission to do the things that leave my heart in wonder was sobering. For someone who is on a journey of healing and becoming unto myself, giving myself permission to participate in thriving activities can be tricky because the pang of guilt always haunts me after I’ve done a “splurge” on myself. Giving myself permission to travel to Knysna was a big step for me. It meant that I chose myself and what matters to me over everything else that whispered “it doesn’t make sense. You didn’t plan for this. You are really being irresponsible”. It doesn’t matter what kind of permission you feel you need: permission to live, permission to pause or permission to travel and explore the world. Whatever it is you feel you need permission for, realise that nobody can grant that for you - you hold the key.



  • Surround yourself with a community of like-minded people. I termed the trip, Marriage Retreat 2.0. this is mainly because all of us, married couples are committed to our spousal lives, and we encourage each other along this journey filled with many highs and lows. One thing about surrounding yourself with like-minded people, especially when planning trips, is the added benefits of being part of a collective. We shared wisdom, laughter, goofiness, and of course, expenses. With the cost of living so exorbitant, being able to travel together meant we would save on some expenses. Some bookings were done via discounted rates due to club memberships that others had – by the way, if you are travelling soon, check out Sani Car Rental’s tiered reward system, plus they currently have a 30% discount on any car rental. We booked a stunning house at Pezula Retreat and shared literally everything, with the exception of our hubbies of course – haha.

Girlfriends

  • The call to connect with yourself is priority.

A return to love by Marianne Williamson

We’ve all heard this “you can’t pour from an empty cup” and this rang true for me over that weekend we travelled. The decision to travel meant I would be able to reconnect with myself. During our short stay at Pezula, I was intentional about spending time in reflection and meditation. Before the trip, I’d been super exhausted and wishing for a year-long holiday (don’t judge me). I’d been spent and needed something to refresh my soul. Knysna was just that for me. As a result, I came back with my cup overflowing and was ready for what lay ahead. The call to connect with ourselves is not selfish as it not only benefits us, but it is also a gift to our tribe whose joy is evident when they are no longer getting crumbs from us.


  • Whatever’s meant to be will be. Earlier I said we re-joined the trip because we had been involved in the earlier days of planning this trip but had to pull out due to something we were waiting confirmation on. What we thought would be didn’t materialise and God put us right back to what needed to be. Where we needed to be. Confused? Read it again slowly. 😊


Before this trip, I’d found myself really spent and isolated – at one point I even told my hubby that I thought I was depressed. A group vacation wasn’t what I thought I needed because of my then state of mind but it so happened to be.


Making space for spontaneity in my life means living. It means allowing God to take the lead in my life as I stop being calculative and worrisome about tomorrow.

Spontaneity has a new meaning for me,
and that is faith in action.

Pause and live.

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2 Comments


You know what's weird?? I have always thought you were a very spontaneous woman. Of course with a lot more planning ha-ha but this just made me realize we go through a lot of mental fatigue that we don't really share with our loved ones. Thank you for this blog because i thought i was the only one with year-end fatigue... I mean balancing work and family and friends can be daunting sometimes.. but please cheers to more spontaneous trips and memories 😀

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Refilwe
Refilwe
Nov 28, 2023
Replying to

hahaha - Listen, I was a spontaneous person but life happened! I acknowledge though, that (besides the childhood trauma), me not being spontaneous has a lot to do with what I unconsciously put my faith in. I am going to be more mindful about this going forward.

_____

Trying to balance everything can be daunting. We need to pace ourselves and not overstretch, lest we burn out.


And of course, cheers to more spontaneous trips and creating memories of a lifetime! Life is for LIVING girl!


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