Is the expression of exhaustion a sign of ungratefulness?

Some weeks back someone I know posted a quote that said: “how nice is it to be exhausted from the things we prayed for.” So when I shared about how exhausted I was about work trips I was scheduled to take, my sisters’ reminder that I prayed for all this hit me like a ton of ice. I sobered up quickly and remembered…

See, growing up, one of my favourite past times was magazine reading – something my mom passed on to me. I enjoyed the features, testing my knowledge with crossword puzzles or Suduko (it always dribbled me though) and of course the lifestyle section that showcased events and what the socialites wore to these events. This early experience sparked a yearning to travel and see the world – in fact, I wanted to be a travel features writer with a dash of Sis Dolly 😊. It was also a deep desire for me to attend lifestyle events and be featured in these pages.

In recent years, I’ve found myself living parts of these dreams. Whilst I have not seen myself featured in any lifestyle section, I am traveling and attending these events more and more. As I write this, I am on a flight from Cape Town to Johannesburg after attending a restaurant launch. Yep! I flew down there for Michelin-star Chef, Jan Hendrik van der Westhuizen’s new restaurant, Le Bistro de Jan. I will return to Cape Town again on Saturday for another media event - work assignments that has exposed me to a lifestyle that all Communications and Brand Managers are privileged to. But to be honest, it can be daunting… the time it takes to prepare for these events, to represent the company you work for well, time away from family and longer evenings wining and dining stakeholders can zap that youthful energy like a lightning bolt.

My sisters’ reminder that the current set-up is partly what I prayed for landed well. However, I couldn’t help but reflect on this deeply and this is what I’ve concluded:

1. It’s ok to feel exhausted from the things you love and enjoy.

2. Speak up and share how you are feeling with people you can trust is ok too.

3. The fear of sharing - with honesty - how we feel stems from not wanting to be shamed or being labelled as ungrateful. This leaves us isolated and feeling alone.

4. Like two sides of a coin, the expression of exhaustion and gratitude can co-exist.

5. Sharing about the exhaustion doesn’t take away from the gratitude in your heart.

I want to emphasise this point: if we don’t move with gratitude, it’s easy to fall into the trap of complaining. When we continuously put a spotlight on the exhaustion, we can end up doing our work begrudgingly. Don’t get me wrong here I am not promoting toxic positivity. All I’m saying is that, as we check in with ourselves to acknowledge how we feel or what’s going on with us, we need to be mindful not to dwell there for longer than we should.

Remember, what you focus on the most, magnifies.

In the case of my exhaustion, acknowledging it has been one thing but being proactive in terms of what I do to try and recover has been another. Also talking about it has helped because sometimes we think we are the only ones going through something, when there’s a whole lot more of us.

Although we might be experiencing different things, talking about it feels like a shared burden. Like we are walking the journey together. This has helped me to keep the momentum up because I know I’m not alone, especially at this time of the year when year-end fatigue is showing us flames.

I’ve also experienced compassion and consideration from those I’ve confided in – something as small as “how are you feeling today?” or “is there anything I can help you with?” makes a considerable difference and shifts the energy flow from negative to positive. With a renewed energy and spirit, I am then able to continue working towards my deliverables.

If you relate to what I’ve shared here, I hope this short reflection reminds you that you are not alone and should definitely not shy away from expressing how you feel. We need to be intentionally gentle with ourselves and honour our bodies with what they need during this season. Finally, do that with echoes of a grateful heart so they can reignite your feel-good hormones.