A container of gum, hugs and an apology

I find true joy from fulfilling my little girl’s dreams. The joy on her face this morning when I gave her a container of gum was another defining moment for me. Her words “thank you Mama, it’s the first time I have a container of gum. A dream come true. Thank you so much!” 🥹

Guys. My heart melted.

For as long as I can remember, she’s been asking for gym in a container. Every single time, without fail, I declined the request. “NO!” Is a full sentence right?

In my head, I’d think, “what’s a young child doing with so much gum?” But this morning, I realised that the request was much more than just a container of gum. It was a beckoning for belonging. Wanting to experience something for herself - in a way that resonated with her - not through her peers.

When I bought the gum for her, it was initially a small gift to celebrate her school achievement. However, because I also bought her an ice cream lolly, I decided to bank the gum for another day. Little did I know that the day would come sooner than expected.

A Momma and her Baby ❤️

Hugs and an apology

We’ve all had days when we drag ourselves out of bed and honestly if we could, we’d just opt out of going to work or school in order to sleep in a little bit more. This was B this morning. She walked into the bathroom and asked if she could stay home because she had a “headache”. Without much thought, I responded with a firm “NO!”  🙊

I walked out, leaving her to her own devices (to shower and get ready for school). A quick reflection made me realise that all she needed was attunement and empathy. I realised that she may have felt exhausted (late night studying) and nervous about the Geography class test. I realised that she may have not had the vocabulary to fully express what she was feeling so “headache” contextualised it for her.

I felt bad. Sorry I was abrupt with my “NO!”

Like a well-mannered girl, I went out to her room to apologise. We have to model behaviour, right? I had a whole speech that included an explanation about my quest to unlearning certain behaviours and learning new ones that build better relationships, especially in my parenting.

Random, AI-generated gum 😅

The gum? Well, I offered it as a peace offering and her response was overwhelming. Lots of hugs, kisses and words of gratitude sealed our early morning encounter. What could’ve set a foul mood for the day ahead was overturned by a simple gesture.

Parenting is an ongoing journey and I find that embracing it wholly makes the journey more rewarding. It’s not about showing up with perceived perfection, and an all-knowing attitude. That’s where we go wrong. There’s always a lesson to be learnt, about oneself and our children.

Discernment, humility and vulnerability are key ingredients for a healthy parenting relationship.

We are our children’s safe havens. We should always endeavour to create a non-judgmental, thoughtful, and safe space for our children.

Also, let this reflection be a reminder that children are the easiest people to please. No frills but modest and unpretentious things matter to them. Let’s take cures from them on how we need to relate to them… parents, allow yourselves to be led sometimes. ✌🏽