Before we go any further, think about the walk of your life and what's in your heart, and then ask yourself these questions:
Do I walk the talk?
Do I practise what I preach?
Do people know me for my words or for my deeds?
When I do things for others, what are my intentions?
Answering these questions honestly can get very uncomfortable. Self-reflections are very helpful and can help us discover and reconnect to our true-self. During self-reflections, we take a deep dive into our inner being, our core - the things that make us who we are. This can be very difficult and challenging because reflections on the self mean possibly facing up to who you really are, and not who you’ve presented yourself as to the world. As we go through the process of unmasking, self-reflections allow us the opportunity to come face-to-face with the real person behind the million masks we put up each day.
Like a pile of blocks, the questions always come tumbling: am I ready to come face-to-face with this person? What if I unmask and I don’t like myself? What if I don’t like who I am or what I’ve become? What if I go through this process and I actually find that I don’t know who I am? What if I was in the wrong and should apologise? What if I get exposed as being a fraud?
These questions and more, are what most people ask themselves when thinking of embarking on this journey. Self-reflections play a significant role in a person’s journey to self-discovery. Unfortunately, most people opt out of this journey because of fear. All the questions they ask themselves stem from fear. The fear of losing themselves along the way. The fear of realising that their actions have cost them dearly.
After reading Brene Brown’s Daring Greatly, I think all of the fears we have emanate from our lack of vulnerability. Widely, in our society, vulnerability is misconstrued as weakness. It is associated with not being strong enough to handle your affairs. This unfortunately leads to others thinking “aarg, there’s no point to this life thing, there’s no winning at it anyway”, and some sadly end up committing suicide or lambasting their family members and treating them harshly.
The thing is, if we allow ourselves to be vulnerable first with God and ourselves, the journey to self-discovery will be enjoyable, and fruitful. Being vulnerable first with God is coming to an understanding of who we are, whose we are and what we are about. Knowing who we are in Christ equates to full knowledge of the self. This way, we are able to acknowledge for example, where we’ve gone wrong and equally taking accountability for the roles we played in the turn of events of our lives. This is a lot more progressive way of discovering ourselves. But for us to be progressive and fruitful in our journeys, we need to go through the process without shaming ourselves.
If you are wondering what shame looks like, let me quote Brene for clarity. Brene says “shame keeps us small, resentful and afraid”. She says "if we attach our worth to things we produce or the things we’ve done, we are prone to feel shameful when people don’t like what we’ve created, or respond unempathetically to the situations we’ve found ourselves in, due to our actions, behaviours or habits.”
Brene adds that, “trust is a product of vulnerability that grows over time and requires work, attention and full engagement.”
So, more questions I’d like you to reflect on:
Are you willing to put your trust in God?
Are you willing to trust yourself?
How far are you willing to go in your self-discovery journey?
Are you willing to put in the time and resources required to make it work?
Are you willing to pay attention to the vices in your head, heart and at the very core of your being?
How willing are you to fully engage in the process?
Are you willing to get to the heart of the matter and dare greatly?
The topics on self-discovery or self-reflections are very broad but I’m sure that from what I’ve shared, you will realise the strong correlation between the concepts I spoke about and how, together, they can help us be in tune with who we really are, publicly, and in private.
Working on ourselves through regular self-reflective exercises is important if we are to lead purposeful lives. Unfortunately, we can’t lead purposeful lives if we are continuously portraying different personas and not acting in obedience to the word of God and who we are meant to be. If we continue doing that, we not only lose our sense of purpose but our will and license to live and fulfil what God requires us to.
Take the time out to reflect on the questions I’ve posed to you. Don’t feel alienated when going through this process though. It can feel quite daunting when you are going at it alone, so invite God to journey with you. I am also here if you need support. Click "BOOK NOW" for your coaching session.